STOP! IN THE NAME OF PANTS
by Roxysconfessions
Summary: This is "stop in the name of pants" my version, not louise rennisons ofcourse. No copy right intended, and just incase you don't know, this is set AFTER luuurve is a many trousered thing.
1. Note from Georgia

A note from Georgia

A note from Georgia

Dear my dearest chums and chumettes!

So I am back at long last, sound the cosmic horns!!

I have decided to dedicate this to all you dudes who have actually taken time out of your jam-packed schedule of buying new lip gloss from Boots, and drooling over the guy next to door to actually read my new fabber then fab diary.

Thus here it is girls (and guys who like to read my books who want to know how a girl's mind works, or vati's who are checking up on what their vair sophisticated daughters are reading) without further ado,

Stop! In the name of Pants!

Love Georgia xxx

P.S. For all of you that are too dim-witted to understand some of my vair sophisticated and creative language, I have added a glossary at the end of this marvy book, because that is how much I love you all!

P.P.S. I am sorry for all the splodge marks on this page, Libby is in boboland with me and she thought it was more interesting if my pen was _hitting_ the page instead of _writing_ on it.


	2. Seethrough Pants And Lords Of Poo

**See through Panties and Lords of Poo**

**10:50**

Oh Pants. Oh pants and pink jimjams (Ooo-er)

**1 minuet later**

Not only am I cheating on my Italian Stallion and Luuurve God Masimo, but it is also VAIR nippy noodles.

**1 minuet later**

Blimey Oh Riley's under crackers, Dave the Laugh has decided to launch us both into the holy water of the river.

"Dave! I think I may die from frost bite"

That is vair vair true. Jassy Spazzy forced me to watch some bonkers TV programme about someplace vair nippy noodles where you get frost bite and your fingers fall off, ERLACK!

"Don't worry Gee. I shall keep you warm in the ice of the river Thames."

What in the name of the all mighty Pants Lord is he talking about? I shall ask him that.

"Dave, what in the name of the all mighty Pants Lord are you talking about?"

"I am talking about this."

Dave the Laugh is a vair gut snoggero.

But it is vair wrong to cheat on my marvy boyfriend Masimo, which is why I shall tell Dave that what we are doing is _wrong_.

**4 minuets later**

Mmmm… I wonder if Dave the Laugh lip nibbles with Emma.

Not that I should care because she _is _his girlfriend.

**20 seconds later**

Then what dear gott is he doing here accidentally snogging me?

I shall ask him.

"Dave, what about Emma?"

Dave is looking at me all funny. Do not tell me that he has become Dave the Unlaugh again, because this time I can't run away from him because we are in a river.

Infact we are in the River Thames, according to Dave, even though Jas made it clear that it can hardly be called a river earlier.

"Emma is my girlfriend." Dave has answered me.

Ooo-er Dave is staring at me so intensely it is giving me the horn.

**30 seconds later**

I wonder if Dave still has the general horn even though he is dating Emma.

Well that would explain what he is doing snogging me in a river, while I am sure that my pants are showing because my skirt seems to be adrift and slowly floating upwards (Ooo-er)

**2 minuets later**

"Dave do you still have the general horn?" I have asked him.

He seems to be thinking. I like it when he thinks, it gives me the horn. Infact it gives me the horn times 10 (Ooo-er)!

"No, kittykat. I think I have the specific horn."

Blimey Oh Riley's Knickknacks. Dave the Laugh has the specific horn to Emma and… and… WOW.

Oh dear Gott in Himmel, I must leave at once before I start to blubber.

"Georgia wait."

"Actually Dave I have to go because we need to get back to our tents, and also I am pretty sure that my pants have gone see-through."

Dave raised his eyes immediately at the last point kind of stunned.

"Anyways, must dash, can't leave the camels waiting."

**5 minuets later**

Oh dear Gott in Himmel. I have just had a trip to the cake shop of luuurve, bought a Dave the Tart, and I have eaten half of it, even though I have not finished my Masimo Luuurve cake.

One day I will make a trip to the cake shop of luuurve, buy my cake and eat it FULLY.

I think Jas ate her Tom cake a long time ago, because she has not had the Horn for anyone except Tom.

And Rosie has had the Horn but she is in luuurve with Sven, and he is her one and only as well as her fiancé.

So one day I shall classify myself with my other camels.

**30 seconds later**

Did I just once again call my friends camels?

**2 minuets later**

"Georgia!" OH DEAR GOTT IN HIMMEL. I have just screamed at the top of my god like voice, and fell over into a puddle.

As if I am not wet enough, I am now a wet camel in see-through pants, in a muddy puddle.

"Crickey Gee." Dave the Laugh is standing over me having a laughing spaz.

How dare he think that the fact that my maturity has now fled out of the window is funny?!

**10 seconds later**

Even though there are no windows here in the great outdoors.

**20 seconds later**

In fact whoever decided to call them the "great" outdoors was certainly a fool in peoples clothing with a brain the size of a pea!

**1 minuet later**

Dave has finally stopped laughing and helped me up.

"Oh Kittykat, what am I going to do with you?" Hm!

From now on I am totally ignore-vousing Dave the Laugh because he is an insensitive nip libbler.

**1 second later**

I mean lip nibbler.

**1 minuet later**

"Come on Kittykat, how can I make it up to you?"

I was about to tell Dave that there is no way to make it up to me because he is the Lord of Poo and shall never change, when I realized (because I am so full of clevernosity) that I am ignore-vousing him.

**2 minuets later**

Yippee I see the camp site, maybe I can change quickly because not only am I vair nippy noodles but I am sure that my skirt isn't covering my see-through pants very well.

**1 minuet later**

Still ignore-vousing Dave even though he is trying vair hard to make me talk to him again.

"Gee, I am sure that your camels can wait, I need to talk to you."

No. Dave the Lord of Poo is being ignored by moi and there is nothing that he can do about it.

**2 minuets later**

Dave is snogging the life out of my lips. I don't see how he thinks this will help me talk to him because I'm still not talking to him, now I'm just snogging him.

**2 minuets later**

"Georgia don't you get it?" Dave is being all starey wary.

I can not speak out of shock, and because my lips have no life, so I shook my head in a vair sophisticated way.

"So you don't understand who I have the specific horn for?"

What in the name of Santa is he talking his head off about.

I have decided to once again just shake my head, and once again I am being vair sophisticated.

"So you don't understand that I have the specific horn for _you_."

I shook my head again.

**1 second later**

Did Dave the Laugh just say he has the specific horn for ME?

**1 second later**

"Dave, I am vair nippy noodles, and my camels are expecting me, and I may have wildlife in my pants which have indeedoms gone see-throughish. Also I think that you may have hit your head on one vair unfortunate rock, so I must be getting back."

**1 minuet later**

Dave the Laugh has one again snogged me. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.

Now the whole campsite knows that I Georgia Nicolson have shown a big red bottom towards Dave The Laugh, who has hit his head and might be dieing.

**10 minuets later**

Jas is looking at me and hinting something.

I can not stand her camel ways any longer, I shall pull her to one side and ask her what is going on through her head at this moment in time.

"Jassy mon bestest friend. What is wrong?"

"Why did you snog Dave the Laugh?"

Oh Blimey Oh Riley. Jas knows all about my visit to the cake shop of luuurve with Dave the Laugh.

"There's no point in denying it Gee, we all saw you standing there with see-through panties, and very wet et muddy clothes, nodding your head like one of those nodding things you get in cars…" She's even making the movement, oh dear gott, "And then you snogged Dave the Laugh up to number six on the snogging scale VERY CLEARLY, before once again shaking your head like a loon from loontown and running for the hills."

I laughed like a laughing thing in shorts until Jas became Ms Huffy Knickers shook her head in a vair silly way and turned around and walked off.

Oh Big G, kill me now.


	3. Do Monkey Say Moo?

**Do Monkeys say 'Moo'?**

**5:30 **

The clowns have gone to the circus.

They even left me a note.

Georgia: Libby, Dad and I are out for some family time, we left you some Chips from last night, but they're cold so you might want to heat them up.

Hope you had a good time camping. Dad says to not spend all day phoning your friends as you've just seen them. Do it in person if you have to.

Mum xx

P.S. Masimo called and asked for you to call him back (he sounds yummy).

**5:45**

I cannot believe my mutti said that Masimo sounded yummy.

She isn't a mutti at all; in fact she is mad. In factoms they all are.

I mean look at Libby. She runs around singing "SEX BOMB" to complete strangers in red lipstick and all, and then there is vati who opens the door in leather trousers and sets fire to his beard every other week, and then my mutti who runs around flirting with doctors in mini-skirts and low cut tops (which people that call themselves mutti's shouldn't be allowed to wear).

Is it even that strange that I turned out to be the most normal one in this house?

**1 minuet later**

I just tripped over trying to reach for the phone and I fell over exposing my new red knickers to the world.

Or more so, Angus.

**2 minuets later**

"Bonjour this is Georgia, sorry I took so long to get to the phone I tripped over a camel and flashed my cat."

"Hey Sex Kitten, what is this I hear bout flashing?"

Blimey Oh Riley. Dave the Laugh is calling me.

"Well Angus just got a good display of my new pants

"Okay, I was wondering if wanted to meet up?"

Me meet up with Dave the Laugh?

Non!

"Sure, when?"

"Are you free now, by the park?"

"Ok, see you."

**1 minuet later**

WHY DID I SAY YES TO METTING DAVE THE LORD OF POO.

Even I the great Georgia Nicolson can not resist the call of the horn. Even when I have a Luuurve God waiting for me in Italy.

I will not go.

**2 minuets later**

Mmmm I think I shall wear a denim skirt, and my new white top.

Et I shall straighten the old hair with the iron. Mutti left it out after doing the "ironing".

**10 minuets later**

Left the folks a note.

Dear Mutti et Vati,

As I do not have a mobile and you do not having the sense to buy me one as you should because you are my parents, I have decided to take your advice and not use the phone but go and talk to my friends in person.

I shall be back before the clock strikes 9.

Georgia x

**10 minuets later**

Where is Dave the Laugh?

He said to meet him now and now has passed and become then and now there is a new now and he is late.

**1 minuet later**

I wonder if he said the park. Did he say the park. Yes I think he did. I mean, I think he said the park.

Oh dear Gott in Himmel I sound like Ellen.

And over Dave the Laugh.

BLIMEY.

**2 minuets later**

Oh my god. Emma is here in the park. She is in the park A LONE.

As in striding around like a lost camel.

Oh dear gott in Himmel she is going to see me.

HIDE.

**1 minuet later**

**Hiding behind the park bench**

Why does this park only have a single bench?

**20 seconds later**

I mean it doesn't even have a big bench, it's a really small bench and not a vair good hiding place.

**1 minuet later**

"Georgia?" Oh no. I have been spotted.

"Yes?" I have turned around to see Emma standing with her hoodie up, her mascara running, looking at me as if I was a freak in a skirt, crouching down behind a small park bench expose my bigger then life nunga-nungas to the world.

Well I see her point.

"What are you – I mean why are you – Um, huh?"

Oh giddy god.

"I dropped my purse."

I don't have a purse.

"Oh. Did you find it?"

I nodded, and got up quickly, "So what's wrong?"

**5 minuets later**

Emma thinks that Dave is going to dump her.

Emma thinks that Dave likes someone else more then her.

I said, "Are you sure?"

And she said, "Yes, I am sure."

And I said, "Has he been running off to Buckingham Palace to snog the queen?"

And she nodded and said, "By the River Thames is what he said."

And I said, "Blimey."

**1 minuet later**

Does this mean that I am the queen?

Or does this mean that the queen likes to snog at the River Thames instead of Buckingham Palace?

I mean it must be nice having a walk down the side and then snogging by the River, even if it is vair nippy noodles and we are in Billy Shakespeare's country where it is always nippy noodles.

**1 minuet later**

I bet Billy liked snogging trips at the River Thames too.

It must be catching.

**1 minuet later**

Emma said "Georgia do you mind if I ask you something?"

And I said, "Do Monkey's say 'moo'?"

And she said, "I don't think so."

And then she said, "Dave seems to really… like you, and he always refers to you as his… mate, so I was wondering you could talk to him and ask him if there's something on his mind."

And I thought Blimey Oh Riley's Enormous sized Knickknacks.

But I said, "I think that the best thing to do Emma is to let him sneak away like a fast camel to snog the Queen by the holy water of the River Thames and Billy if he would like to, and not ask any questions because he is Dave the Laugh, and frankly what I think that he would do if I asked him would be well… laugh."

What in name of my new red knickers am I blabbering on about?

**2 minuets later**

Amazingly Emma thinks that I Georgia Nicolson the Queen of Sophistication and nonsense am actually making scene.

I am laughing like a monkey in a zoo when they see a person trip over a banana skin.

Oh Nuts. Oh nuts and bananas.

Oh Nuts, bananas and goat hairs.

Dave the Laugh is walking up to us but there's a big bush blocking Emma out and I don't think he can see her.

**1 minuet later**

Dave has just come up to me and said, "Hey Kittykat, sorry I'm late got held up by the old buggers. Something or other about plastic elves and cats in our garden."

He still hasn't noticed that Emma is here because she has her hoodie up.

**30 seconds later**

I have started to try to tell Dave that Emma is here by opening my eyes really widely.

"Gee, what's wrong with your eyes, I know that I am gorgeous and it reflects right of me but you could buy sunglasses or something, and also it is giving me the horn."

Heckles and Jeckles how dim witted is Dave the Laugh today?!

**1 minuet later**

I have tried a new approach and kind of tipped my head to were Emma is standing.

Oh Dave's eyes have skipped over to Emma and now he looks like a rabbit caught in head lights.

"Emma!" He cried, and then his eyes flashed to me quickly before he bent over and kissed on her on the cheek and rapped his arm around her, "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you the same question." Oh deary lord Emma has turned to me and looks like she is about to punch me in "Why didn't you tell me you were meeting him?"

"It must of slipped my mind when I lost my purse and we started raving on about Billy and Rivers."

They are both looking at me as if I am a raving lunatic.

"Um, actually we were just catching up after the camp site." Dave is staring at me and giving me this look which I can't understand.

It is giving me the horn.

**1 minuet later**

I think I understand the look.

"Anyways must dash, the circus is coming home and I promised them that I would be back before the clock strikes 9 and it is vair dark now." Hmm, Emma still is looking at me in a funny way, and Dave is trying to mouth something to me.

C-A-L-L M-E L-A-T-E-R

I am giving Dave a vair subtle nod, he nodded back in an over dramatic way, and winked at me,

The cheek of him.

"Okay bye." Emma has given me a slight wave and they have both turned around.

Dave's hand is still around her waist.

**1 minuet later**

But it shouldn't matter because she _is _his girlfriend.

**30 seconds later**

I wonder why he wants me to call him.

**1 minuet later**

Oh dear lord, call.

I can't call Masimo because my vati won't let me call my friends here let a lone my boyfriend in Pizza-ago-go.

I am like a lost camel.

**30 seconds later**

A lost slightly crazy camel, in a strange cake shop of luuurve with a lot of unfinished cakes left around me as I travel home to the bed of pain.

And the three clowns.


	4. Mothers And Furry Pink Leggings

**Mothers take daughters to the parks wearing furry pink leggings**

**10:30**

**In the bed of pain with soup (Ooo-er)**

Mutti says that the great outdoors have made me ill, so I have to stay in bed until I get better.

I think it was the fact that I was snogging for England in the River Thames has made me ill, and I shall elaborate on this point when I talk to Dave The Laugh later to tell him that my red bottomosity has given me the flu.

**1 minuet later**

Mutti says that she has made my soup, which is vair tasty so I think she is lying and instead used one of the canned ones I bought from Tesco.

I think we shall be buying more.

**3 minuet later**

Mutti also said that Masimo called again and that he once again wants to talk to me. She also said it sounded vair important.

What could be so important that the Luuurve God needs to call me millions of times?

**1 minuet later**

Not that I object at all to Masimo calling me because he _is _my boyfriend.

**2 minuets later**

That reminds me. I have to call Dave the Laugh tomorrow.

**1 minuet later**

Who is just my mate.

**7:30 (AM)**

The phone is ringing at this ungodly hour.

Why Big G must my family be out before the strike of 7 everyday, making me leave my bed of pain, just to grab the stupid phone?!

"Hello Georgia Nicolson speaking, who may I ask has interrupted my beauty sleep?"

"Oh sorry Gee, but I couldn't help but call you."

Jassy Spazzy has decided to call me! This is one of vair occasional occasions, even if it is at 7:30 in the morning.

"Oui, I am listening."

"I am thinking of going to number 10 !"

"NON!!"

BLIMEY OH RILEY.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF HER AMAZING BIG KNICKERS IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?!

"OUI!"

"With who?"

"TOM OFCOURSE, I am not a tart like you Georgia!"

Oh dare she! She's the one that is thinking of going to number 10 and now I GEORGIA NICOLSON QUEEN OF PANTS am the tart?

I will slam the phone down on her and see how she likes it.

**2 minuet later**

"Hello?"

"Listen Gee, I'm sorry, I just got a bit freaked out about the Dave the Laugh situation."

How does she know?!

"How do you know?!"

"Dave told Tom, who told me."

"Jas who have you told?"

Why did Tom have to tell Radio Jas everything!

"No one."

Hmmm…

"JAS IS THAT GEORGIA ON THE PHONE?TELL HER THAT I ALWAYS THOUGTH THAT HER AND DAVE WERE GREAT TOGETHER."

"Okay mum will do."

So much for telling no one, queen of gob.

"Jas you are to tell no one else understand me?"

"Oui. Understood. So can I come over?"

"Umm okay."

"Thanks so much Gee."

"One condition. NO TWO. Bring the Ace Gang, and jammy dodgers."

**8:00**

Blimey. And Crickey.

Blimey, Crickey and Lordy.

I shall never see Tom in the same light.

The Ace Gang are here sitting in a circle in my room with a plate of jammy dodgers and cheese snackeros listening to Jas telling us about her serious conversation with Tom about number 10.

**1 minuet later**

I never thought that the day would come when Jassy Big Knickers would go to number 10.

Especially not first.

**2 minuets later**

Jas has stopped talking and we are all sitting here smitten.

**3 minuets later**

"Hunky is a vair lucky manero."

Rosie has put on her beard, and is stroking it in a odd way.

That was the first thing she has said since she has come, besides "Ooo-er cheesy snacks!"

She is mad.

**9:03 **

The old buggers et mon baby sister are home. Had enough time to sneak the Ace Gang downstairs and out of the door before Vati started shouting.

**3 minuets later**

"Ginger! You up, up, up! Bad flu, goneronio!"

I can only assume that goneronio means gone.

But who am I to know?

**10 minuets later**

"Georgia it's for you, Rosie wants to know if you've got pink or red lip stick today because she doesn't want to be wearing the same as you." Vati shouted from the phone and then started laughing like a loon.

I can't believe that he thinks he is funny.

"Hello tis Gee."

"Gee tis Rosie, I know I just left but I must inform you now."

"Ooo-er! Inform me of what?"

"We are throwing Jas et hunky un engagement party at 7.00 at Sven's house. Be there or be square."

Oh pink jimjams, she really is crazy.

"RoRo, I thinkers that they are not engaged."

"They are engaged now, and they are to have their wedding on the same day as mine and Sven's."

Ooo-er, vicking fiasco!

"And they know about this do they?"

"They shall know about this vair soon."

Mmmm.

"So Tom hasn't proposed yet?"

"Non! Tom isn't proposing, Sven is."

**Midday**

**(More soup from Tesco)**

I think that vati is setting fire to the kitchen again.

Last time, his beard got in the way and it was in flames and the gas was on and it made the cooker light up.

I walked in whilst his beard was a light and said, "You know Vati, that that can be done with matches and such, there is absolutely no need to set fire to your beard."

Then he went ballistic and shouted, "Instead of standing there and making stupid comments why don't you help me?!"

So I filled a glass of water and threw it at him.

Then he shouted, "You could of passed me the dish towel!"

There's gratitude for you.

So I said, "Well that's the reason why I stand at the side and make comments, because I get no thanks in return for trying to help you!"

He went of shaking his head, and muttering something about manners.

How does he expect me to have manners when he can't even mutter the words "thank you"?!

**12:20**

"Ginger!" Libby has entered my bed of pain and spilled soup onto my sheet, "You sick boy. Bad Boy!"

Erlack! She has started to blow her nose on my duvet.

"Libby honey, Georgie needs to get up now okay?"

"NO! Bad boy, sick boy. STAY."

Well at least she can put together sentences.

Not.

**1 minuet later**

I can't believe that Jas and Tom might get up to number 10.

As far as I'm aware they haven't been up to virtual number 7 yet, and I thinkers that they should do that before going to number 10.

Rosie thinks that Jas and Tom should get married first, but if they are to get married on the same day as Rosie et Sven then that would be years away and I don't think that Jas and Tom can avoid the calling of the horn for that long at all.

**5 minuets later**

Mutti has finally decided to take Libby and they are going to go see the duckies at the pond.

She said, "Georgia, why don't you come with us?"

So I laughed and said, "Are you mad?"

I didn't say it in a mean way, it was merely a question, but she went crazy.

"Georgia you are 15 years old and you can not speak to me that way, I am your mother!"

So once again I laughed, "Do mothers take daughters to the parks wearing furry pink leggings?"

Once again it was merely a question, but she started tutting and sort of half slammed the door behind her.

It was half-slammed it because vati is asleep.

**1 minuet later**

What is a grown man doing sleeping at midday you might ask.

Well don't ask him, because when I did he told me that I was to have no more money for the rest of the week.

**1 minuet later**

Well it's not as if I get any anyways.

**3:50**

Getting ready for the party at Sven's.

Or Jas and Tom's engagement party.

**5 minuets later**

In the bath tube reading my new book, _How to get your perfect man_.

It says that whilst your talking to him, make sure that you up at him through your eyelashes. It makes them look longer, and your eyes look sexier.

Also, apparently, if they're being really funny, instead of laughing your head of like a chicken, you should hold it in laugh in a attractive way, and make it seem like your not very interested as boys like to "chase" girls.

And final major point, _**NEVE**_**R** - it says that in BIG ITALICS, so it must be vair important (Ooo-er) – be someone else whilst your around him.

**1 minuet later**

I wonder how people manage to make themselves someone else because I've never accomplished that.

**2 minuets later**

"Hello, home of the sad and annoying, who's speaking?"

"Oh my giddy god Gee!"

"What it is it Jas?"

"Something that is gonna make you _really _happy is gonna happen at Sven's party!!"

Mmmm… I don't think she knows Sven is gonna propose to her and Tom, so I don't think I'll mention that.

"Okay, what?"

"I can't tell you."

Oh dear gott in himmel. Why must she do this to me?

"Jas, is this like the time when Robbie came back, and you thought I'd like it but ended up running for the hills in a vair unpleasant way?"

She has paused to think.

Oh dear gott, I think my life is over.

"Well, yes and no."

"What in the name of the almighty Santa Clause are you talking about?"

"Well, it's a surprise, but this time you shall like it A LOT."

"No I won't because Jassy, I do not like surprises."

"You'll like this one."

**2 minuets later**

I wonder what the hell this _surprise _is going to be.

**6:50**

Oh dear god, my bath smells vair unpleasant, to say the least.

I was rushing to get my hair done, when I heard the call of the piddly-diddly department.

So I rushed in, and forgot to close the door.

My adorable sister, whom I love walked in stark naked, and shouted, "GINGER, SOME ONE AT DOOR. I OPEN IT."

I turned around to see Jas standing at the door trying to cover her eyes at the site of Libby's bottom.

I said, "I'll be out in a minuet."

But Libby shouted, "No. I need do big fat poo!"

"But Libby, Ginger needs to use toilet."

So put her hands on her hips and turned to the bath in a surprised sort of way – as if a light just switched on in her head.

"Good Ginger. You use toilet."

She ran to the bath, and jumped inside.

"I use bath."

And that's when she pooed in the bathtub.


	5. The World Saw Her Teletubbies Knickers

**The whole world saw her teletubbies knickers**

**7:30**

At Sven's dancing madly to some song or other that the radio is blasting out.

There is no space in here. A lot of people have come to Jas's, Toms and I guess Sven's engagement party.

Rosie says she'll be back in a bit, she's going to change for the proposal, and she told me to tell Sven to change into his leopard skin, if I see him.

Ooo-er, I think that he's going as a proposing leopard.

Must get a breather, because I'm sure that I look like a mad dancing, red faced elephant with a gigantic nose right now.

I'll go check in the piddly diddly department.

**3 minuets later**

Rosie reappeared as I was going to check, and she's pulling me upstairs.

**1 minuet later**

"Rosie, what my dear is wrong? You have gone as red as a red balloon."

I'm not kidding, she has never gone this red before.

She has put a single finger to her lips, grabbed my hand and motioned for one of the bed room doors.

**7:40**

I can not believe my eyes.

I can not believe Rosie's eyes.

I think that we must have just fell asleep and somehow ended up having the same dream.

**1 minuet later**

Is that even possible?

**2 minuets later**

There are three things wrong with the world today:

Rosie and me have been scarred for life.

Jas is still acting like a freak, and keeps on begging me to be happy, because today is going to end great. (?!)

I shall never be able to bath again, since my darling little sister decided to poo in my bathtub.

**2 minuets later**

I can not believe what me and Rosie saw.

Apparently Rosie went upstairs to change but before she went into the room she heard voices.

She pushed the door open a bit, and she saw Emma in there with some random guy, having a snogging fest.

So she ran downstairs to find me, and pulled me upstairs, , the guy had is shirt off now and Emma was laughing as if she was drunk.

Anyways, then she suddenly pulled away and said, "No Andy, we shouldn't, no, no, no. What about Dave, Laughing Dave?"

And that's when I turned to Rosie, and she mimicked someone drinking, so I nodded and turned back.

_Andy _sighed pulled back his shirt and said, "Forget him, he don't want you babe. I want you babe."

Pffftt, he couldn't even speak English properly!

"But, Dave is my boyfriend. So as his boyfriend, I mean girlfriend, I shall at least ask him, why I here?"

Then she made for the door and me and Rosie looked at each other, turned around quickly and tripped over each other falling into a little heap on the floor.

Emma opened the door but she didn't even notice us, instead she jumped, shouting, I'm a birdie, and then fell down the stairs laughing.

**2 minuets later**

Where is Jas with Rosie's frozen peas?!

Unfortunately Sven only had one icepack in his fridge, and since Rosie was too busy snogging him to notice when Jas came with it, I took first picks.

So now Jas has to go get Rosie a bag of frozen peas, and Sven has gone off to change into his leopard skin, so she is complaining that her head hurts.

_And _we have Emma vomiting into a bucket.

Can this day get any worse?

**1 minuet later**

Just left the garden area (Sven made everyone leave the garden, and let us use it to recover) to find Jas and the frozen peas because Rosie is given me even more of a headache.

**2 minuet later**

Where are you Jassy Spazzy my badger loving friend?

**1 minuet later**

Spotted her, she's at the door.

She's turned to me and is motioning me over, with a vair weird look on her face.

**2 minuets later**

Oh no. Why must I have cursed us.

Why do I never learn that when you say "Can this day get any worse?" It always _does _get worse.

Dave the Laugh was at the door, asking for Emma.

"Jas, Dave, what are you two DOING?"

I trying to send signals to Jas, but in return she just keeps on opening her eyes really widely. How is that going to help the situation?

"Actually, I was looking for Emma, Jas says she's not here, but I know she is. What's happening here Gee?"

"Well, Um, She, um. She left."

I am nodding my head now, continuously, because I have no idea what to do.

"YES!" Jas suddenly cried, her finger in the air, "She went to , um, Wet Lindsay's house! Go, go, find her!"

What in the name of baby Jesus is Jas _doing_?

Dave looked at me, and gave me the "Is she drunk?" expression.

"She's not tipsy, but Emma, um, is."

Jas has just groaned really loudly, and put her head in her hands, Dave is looking at me in a really weird way, and Rosie just appeared from the garden shouting, "WHERE THE HELL ARE MY FROZEN PEA'S, AND EMMA NEEDS ANOTHER SICK BUCKET NOW!" and then she went back out.

**2 minuets later**

Dave rushed off into the garden with a serious look on his face, and Jas is looking at me as if _I _spoilt it all.

"I had it under control!"

"Why would Emma be with Wet Lindsay, what in God's Green Earth possessed you to say that?"

"Because it was the fist thing to pop up in my head!"

"Well then why are you angry with _me_."

"Because I don't want to blame myself!"

**10 minuets later**

Rosie forced Sven to evacuate everyone.

She's really cranky when her head hurts.

**2 minuets later**

The only people left at the party, are Jas, Rosie, Jools, Dave, Emma, Sven, Tom et moi.

Sven got Rosie her icepack, and she kissed him and told him that she was sorry for being so cranky.

Awww. Sometimes they can be really sweet.

**1 minuet later**

Why did I say that?

Now he's balancing her on his shoulder and swinging her around.

The whole world saw her teletubbies knickers.

**2 minuets later**

Dave is laughing over the fact that Emma says she's got a big headache, and kissed her on the lips.

She's smiling really broadly.

Why must it make me feel that bad when he kisses someone else?

Also she cheated on him. With some random guy called Andy.

"Gee, are you okay? You look a bit hot" Jools is looking at me all concerned.

"Yes, I just need some fresh air."

**1 minuet later**

"Gee, are you sure you're okay?"

Mon bestest pal has followed me.

"Yes why?"

Because you said you needed some fresh air, and then you went _inside_."

Oh pop-stickles.

"Dave doesn't know about Emma and Andy."

"Tell him."

"But then Jassy Spazzy, Emma was drunk and it wasn't her fault, and she's not a bad person."

"She cheated on him. If it was Tom, then I'd want to know straight away, whether he was drunk or not."

"But Dave really likes Emma."

"Don't worry." She turned around and looked outside straight towards Tom, "Tom says to keep this a surprise but, maybe I should tell you what's gonna make you so happy tonight."

Wowzers she's actually gonna disobey Hunky. The day has come!

"Also, I don't want you to get a heart attack when it happens so…"

"Georgia!" Oh pants, Dave the Laugh has come inside, and he doesn't look like Dave the Laugh he looks more like Dave the Unlaugh.

**1 minuet later**

"Can I talk to Gee alone please? We have serioustic matters to attend to." He smiled at Jas, "I'll give you my last Jammy Dodger."

Jas smiled back, said deal, and ran outside.

Greatest Paul in the world she is, Pffftt, she left me a lone with Dave the Unlaugh, she could win Worst Pal in the world!

"Gee, did anything happen with Emma?"

Ooo-er can he like sense these things or something?

Maybe he can read peoples minds.

Oh must not think about Emma situation.

**1 minuet later**

Not thinking about the Emma situation didn't work because I thought "Lets not think about the Emma situation" so if he can read minds, then he knows that there is a situation I'm not talking about…

"Um… If reading minds is your super strength then what's mine?"

What am I talking about?

"Kittykat, why do you think I have the power to mind read?"

"Because you always seem to know what's happening."

"That's not true, I don't know why everyone is acting weird about Emma, including Emma." Mmmm, I thought she looked normal. Well that's because I don't have the power to read minds, "And I also don't know what's going on in your head half of the time."

I raised my eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"One moment, we're snogging, the next thing I know you run off, then we arrange to meet up, and you're talking to my girlfriend, and then when I tell you to call me, you don't."

I am sure I look like a goldfish right now.

**1 minuet later**

A goldfish with a huge nose, that can't swim particularly well.

"I really like you Georgia, but I can't figure you out!"

"I thought this was about Emma."

Dave sighed. He really isn't much fun when he is Dave the Unlaugh.

He has stepped forward and kissed me lightly on the lips.

**1 minuet later**

"Emma cheated on you."

Dave completely froze, and has stepped slowly away from me.

"But I guess you can't blame her, because look at us."

I'm blubbering. Why am I blubbering?

**1 minuet later**

I think that my conscience is peaking through.

"You can't blame her for that when she thinks that you're away snogging queens, and we're here right in front of her nose snogging, so, so it's not her fault."

I can feel my eyes burning up. Dave looks really red, he's just staring at me.

"And it's not like I'm any better, with – with Masimo. I – I mean – I can't –"

I can't speak. That's what I can't do. Because I'm crying.

"I shouldn't have – have told you."

"No." Dave is actually speaking, "I'm glad you told me."

Oh no, he's turning around and heading for the garden.

Emma is going to kill me. I am a sitting duck!

"No Dave wait!"

I'm trying to pull him back, but he's not turning around.

**1 minuet later**

The doorbell is ringing.

Dave has stopped in his tracks and turned to the door, "Who is that?"

"Stay here, I'll check."

I'm pacing slowly to the door. Not running because, as I have been told many times by the Ace Gang, I do not look attractive when I run.

**2 minuets later**

Masimo is back.

The luuurve god is back.

My Boyfriend is back.

And is standing with a bunch of roses in front of me

And I don't even feel happy.

Infact, I'm crying.

Because of Dave The Laugh.

What in the name of Poo is going on today?!


End file.
